Blame [ profile] beow11 for this.....and my hyperactive and trivia-gleeful mind for the running commentary...

Aureantes in One Four One Five
In this by-the-book sci-fi yawnfest, [ profile] aureantes (Vin Diesel) buys a mysterious machine on eBay. [ profile] errant_faesoul (Alessandro Nivola) readies supplies for Aureantes—all of the gadgets that he could ever need. Sexy [ profile] lurkitty (Salma Hayek) tags along for the ride. Montages and spy music set the scene for a rollercoaster ride of a film with a deadly twist!
Produced by ianiceboy

Coolness, my own Q!...I always wanted a tech-savvy sidekick to provision me with gadgets -- not that I exactly see myself being embodied by Vin Diesel, but I can definitely work with that...

Aureantes in Late Night In
Although subsequent plot developments/holes make his actions irrelevant, [ profile] aureantes (Sean Bean) briefly travels to the past, where he sees his younger self relay a message that he will never again forget. He finds that he is being hunted by federal agents who want to know more and want him to know less. As that is happening, [ profile] errant_faesoul (George Clooney) turns to the inventor of chronodynamics, Professor [ profile] lurkitty (Lucy Liu), for help concerning the recent transpiration of time. A heart-stopping movie that the whole family can enjoy! (Except those with pacemakers.)
Produced by ianiceboy

Hmm, time's a thought...:-?...but how could I ever cope with my actions being irrelevant in the grand scheme of things? Or with my inevitable obsession with obtaining the One Ring for Gondor?

Aureantes in The Answering Machine
In a world of light panels and bite-sized gadgetry, [ profile] aureantes (Hugo Weaving) discovers a doorway between this dimension and one with cooler sound effects. It makes cinema history. Simultaneously, [ profile] miniar (Leonardo DiCaprio) is too late to stop the onslaught of the terrifying [ profile] omnivorously (Billy Crystal). In the epic battle between special effects and human performances, there is no clear victor.
Produced by ianiceboy

Interesting casting, I have to say....makes my mind go all sorts of directions, not to mention having fun storming the castle...and blowing it up to the 1812 Overture while gangfights erupt on the streets of New York, Boston and Verona...

Aureantes in The Binary Half
Funded by a mysterious benefactor, [ profile] aureantes (Aaron Eckhart) turns out to be a prototype robot that can simulate emotion or something. Then everything goes haywire. A short while later, [ profile] miniar (Willem Dafoe) and [ profile] omnivorously (Eric Bana) are trapped inside a secure bank vault, and are fast running out of air. All questions will be answered; all answers will be questioned!
Produced by ianiceboy

Great...I'm a robot in the likeness of Aaron Eckhart. I'm not even going to start on that train of thought....but seriously, what exactly am I supposed to be simulating? -- and do I do it better than Jude Law in AI? And with reference to the second plot, when the heck is Spiderman supposed to show up?

Aureantes in Rebel Without Applause
In this action-packed spy thriller, [ profile] aureantes (Antonio Banderas) is a complicated cop with a vendetta. He receives orders to befriend [ profile] beow11 (Halle Berry) before the seemingly-innocent [ profile] massagediva (Salma Hayek) outwits her. Following a chain of very obvious clues, he makes his presence known at the haunted lair. It really needs to be seen to be watched.
Produced by ianiceboy

Complicated w/ vendetta....check. Making presence known....working on it.

Aureantes in Bad Blood Loss
In this heart-stopping marvel, [ profile] aureantes (John Malkovich) is a rogue FBI agent with a less-than-relevant background. He elects to question [ profile] lupabitch (Jane Seymour) before his archenemy, [ profile] heron61 (Billy Zane), brainwashes her. Wasting no time, he blasts into Heron61's submarine with no thought to his own personal safety. This picture tells a thousand words. Most of them are interjections.
Produced by ianiceboy

Changed text...was not interested in being a rouge FBI agent (that is, with a sideline business selling for Avon...?). Good w/ Malkovich, though, as long as convincing accents/dialects are not required in the role -- 'tis his one lack in an otherwise admirable versatility.

Aureantes in Secret Agent Cubed
In this award-winning rollercoaster, [ profile] aureantes (Kiefer Sutherland) is a complicated secret agent with a really nice holiday house. He elects to find [ profile] lupabitch (Julia Roberts) before his former partner, [ profile] heron61 (Mark Wahlberg), ensnares her. For no apparent reason, he demolishes the haunted warehouse. Buy it on DVD for the interactive menus.
Produced by ianiceboy

Complicated w/ really nice holiday house...sounds good...hmm, I can have that and a vendetta, right? I mean, the 'complicated' isn't going away any time soon...seriously, why would I destroy a good haunted warehouse? We could always use it for NDE research, after all...

Kagen in Veto Las Vegas
Kagen (David Bowie) has more than candidacy issues to contend with. Hailed by many as the greatest drama of our time, his perceived supremacy is hinged on speculation, and his lowly subordinate, Brandi (Ellen DeGeneres), is struck by amnesia at the worst possible time. Alin (Burt Reynolds) has prepared the pizza. Never was there a more interesting cabinet—unless you include furniture.
Produced by ianiceboy

Alright....only one of these casting choices makes any sense whatsoever..../:) I am quite fond of interesting cabinets, though -- does this one come with a somnambulist in the amnesiac? And why someone who's self-admittedly afraid of Americans be playing a U.S. politician...?

At any rate, an irreverent way to start out the new year's recreational postings -- in the absence of my usual "Happy Hogmanay" ecard.  More serious matter (with more art) to come as I get materials prepared for my Winter installment of ye olde art class.


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