....for a rock band, that is - was considering it back sometime in college, around the time that this guy named Mike Mulloy was lending me tapes of Sisters of Mercy and Skinny Puppy and other goth stuff and I was considering what I could do with that area. I was also toying with "Aerosol Virus" around the same time, though that's for more straight-out modern paranoid dystopia, so far as the themes of things. What Fatal Katya is - and you'll get a cookie if you grasp the literary reference before I explain it - is unrestrained and flamboyant and passionately gutwrenching Romanticism, no holds barred and with a heavy dose of steampunk (didn't know of the genre/style then but it fits now) and overall deliberate and flagrant anachronism.

Although I've been writing songs or the starts of them since ever, along with copious amounts of poetry, it was around the summer of 2000 that I really came out with a significant number of 'finished' songs and started recording them as such, albeit a cappella - considering that I don't play any instrument well enough for performance purposes in my own opinion, I go by voice and by ear, and basically chart out my songs at first in solfege and accent/cadence rather than with absolute pitch or timing. This also has the advantage of being able to repitch to my own voice in case of cold or (as of late) with lower expansion of vocal range...doesn't mean that I don't want to have full absolute-pitch arrangements with instrumentals, though, as I'm very much into combining things in the most effective ways possible whether the intended sound is 'hard' or 'soft', modern/electronic or classical/acoustic, or a bit of everything at once. I like harps and ethnic pipes and violins and 'cellos, and I like electric guitars and synthesizer effects....and if anyone's picking up where I'm going with this and has an interest and skills to back it up, I'd like to hear about it.

In which I explain the band name and what it is literarily attached to... )

Anyhow.....I'm going to start posting more of my song lyrics from time to time, as I'm reworking and expanding a lot of them as well as having new ones surface. I'm also going to be getting a lot more material posted at my other outlets of Blogspot, my Facebook page, my portfolio group on Yahoo and other venues....will be updating these and culling out online unnecessaries over the next couple months. If you definitely do want to see what I'm coming up with creatively in all areas, comment here so that I can add you to an access filter for it - will also post all active career/project links for reference and edit my sidebar links lists and other access points.

And you know, if you want to talk literature and movies and psychology and such, or pick and probe at the things I say.....oh, do have at it, please..../:)

Which Fantasy Hero Are You?
Elric of Melniboné
Description and history... )

[Quiz is at http://apps.facebook.com/qwhich-fantasy-bjici/?start=1&target=home ]

Ah geez......where does one begin?
Thanks to wickedmerlot for this one....

you are darkmagenta

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.

Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
the spacefem.com html color quiz

Well....I don't have enough to show for it yet, which is mainly the result of high distractibility from the things that are actually my greatest strengths, and perfectionism that says best to get everything else in order first. Crux of the matter--I'm not selfish enough. A shiteload of go-getterness and damn-all-the-odds for my own personal ends would be a very very good thing, because then all the hard work and passion would at least be going to my real benefit instead of just garnering a semi-social reputation.

But yeah, sometimes I need an online quiz to clarify shite like that. Gotta definitely recommend it for not being narrow in its method....you'll see what I mean. Simple, but not the exclusionary prepackaged crap. Even better if you have the colour symbolism to read your results with as well...I suspect it might correlate pretty closely to aura colours, in some at least. Depending on how honest you are with yourself, of course.

You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.
What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.
What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.

What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay, tell me something I don't know....I didn't have to take the quiz atall to verify that, though to be fair I'm quite elitist on music and art and history/culture too...just don't get me started on The Da Vinci Code or The Celestine Prophecy (read Foucault's Pendulum if you want enlightenment, dammit!!). "Bestsellers" are most often sheer anathema to me--I'm allergic to mass commercial hype, and will criticize/derail it at every opportunity. Though I will espouse a certain amount of self-promotion for my ownmaterial, Oprah had damn well better not try to rope me into her Book Club.....>:)....

 you are a half- demon, you are scary.........but cool.
you are a half-demon, your scary, and like to take
advantage of people.

which half-breed are you???????
brought to you by Quizilla

*snicker* Really? Moi...? /:) Am I truly that...*cough*...sinister?

Donnie Darko
You're Donnie from Donnie Darko. You're kinda
creepy. You have issues and you talk to this
bunny Frank who says the world is going to end.
You might have a lot of anger inside of you,
but please, do not burn down any houses.

Which Movie Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm....well, perhaps...see what I get for being honest and spontaneous....

People see anger in your eyes. You are probably a
good person, but you have a quick temper. You
may sometimes find yourself snapping at your
friends or family. People should know not to
piss you off, but be careful. Your temper could
cause you to do or say something that you
really don't mean.

What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla
....(in unison)..."but you MUST LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!!!!"

Well, yeah, people should know not to piss me off. Dagnab it.

In other news, just proving what I already know:

You are Hamlet from Hamlet. Duh. You are forced to
act insane to sneak under the noses of your
parents and friend so you may carry out your
destiny. Hmmmm...brevity is the soul of wit.

Which famous Shakespeare character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Henry V in my conscious runner-up, though, I'll have you know...and yes, by being just a tad less determinedly gloomy in self-assessment, there he is:

You are King Henry V from Henry V. You like to
encourage your fellow man and follow moral
code. Good for you.

Which famous Shakespeare character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

And my personal song from The Phantom of the Opera would be..."The Phantom of the Opera"...>
your song is "The Phantom of the Opera"!!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

that's the theme for the movie. it's really
awesome! you have a strong sense of curiosity
and you love to sing. you're just a BIG Erik
fan (meaning you love the Phantom...NOT
Raoul!!!) and yeah...so you love that song lol
thnk you!! congrats on your results, awesome
song, and please remember to rate and
message... : D

The Phantress

which song from The Phantom of the Opera are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Though...I think "Point of No Return" seems rather characteristic of me as well ("WOO HOO!!! ok, you are very mysterious. you like things that are sexy, yet strangely innocent in a way. you like to toy around with the darkness, flirt with danger, and play with FIRE!! hmhmhmhm...a mischievous one, you are!!")...no doubt there's much observation to be made there....

And so I am, therefore, by proof of posting, still alive and well (and kicking) and not fallen off the face of the earth. Woohoo! *crows* Okay, I've gotta get back to working on revamping my bedroom....central theme, FIRE!!!!!!!

Hehe....not like that...well, maybe. I do have a lotta old things of the past to burn, though....:-?...

Because it makes God/gods really fucking frustrated when they're trying to show you they love and care for you through all the worst of things but you just can't seem to take a hint, or two, or three, or a thousand signs of affection.....because it's a slap in the face of agape, philos, and eros to say you lack the guts to take it seriously, or even acknowledge the sight.

Guess I must be a megalomaniac after all, because I think that I am destined to be like a god, admired and feared and worshipped but never actually loved.  Not that I could feel that if it happened, of course--slight defect there...still, I'm not defective in ability to love, and I think I may even overcompensate there in demonstration, just because I don't want to make anyone feel the way I do and have all my life, so disconnected....I don't know, is that grace or merely some vague unnameable guilt that drives me?

I am a raging tiger, a rogue and ravenous wolf.  When pressed or piqued or wounded to the quick, I am ruthless in return, giving as good as I get or much much worse--causing pain is an instinct with me, I know it well enough.  And yet it's not my desire to hurt anyone who merely stumbles....I'm just very - efficient at doing so...the best at what I do, in unpremeditated verbal savagery.

And of course, I need attention, energy, feedback, interaction--assuming one gives a damn for my presence at all.  Otherwise I haven't the energy to "participate" positively, if no one even notices when I'm gone.  I wonder if my friends notice me as much as I notice them...or is this just a stupid musing because everyone can't help noticing me whether they like it or not?  What kind of a force do I show in the world?--what influence, what path, what pressure do I cause?  What change have I made in others, and has it been for the better or not?  I can answer these things theoretically, and yet not believe them...not believe that there is any grace in me, because someone has misunderstood me tragically, and keeps doing so, and won't even take the smallest comforts I would offer freely without fear of being unworthy or obligated beyond their means.  The gods do not want protests of worthlessness when they give gifts--they want their gifts to be accepted, used, made the most of, not ignored...there is no hidden price here, no deep-condemning deal.  Can no one believe that I want the best for them, that I can lay my own desires and needs aside like a winter cloak, can hold myself on ice while trying to make sure that they find what's right for them?  Starvation and honour go ill together, though a fine tale of chivalry they can make, relinquishing love for loyalty..........

I have no irresistible lust in my interpersonal life, no selfish urge that could make me forget and override the bounds of respect between souls.  In order to find my heart and follow it truly, strongly, passionately to possess, to claim, to make my chosen mine without restraint, I should perhaps have to become a beast in truth, that this conscience and circumspection would no longer plague me with its weight.  To quote my current line, honour's a bitch sometimes.

Assuming you think it's honour that drives me after all....




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