Hence the glowering predatory tiger of paradoxical Blakean notoriety....geez, why am I being so defensive all of a sudden?

No, seriously...I glanced over my LJ profile page and it is way too scattershot and blatantly defensive itself to be accurate for my purposes at the moment - not to mention which, it denies me the pleasure of letting people find out firsthand what a bad idea it is to give me shite on my home turf. I miss those tiffs, I really do.....>:)

Also, I think I need to be a bit more precise about my whole artistic shebang, as it is going to be coming out more pointedly in the months to come. I operate in multiple artistic areas including singing/songwriting, acting & high-level online roleplaying, poetry, fiction, theatrical design and any/all visual arts whose supplies I can easily lay hands on, and this ties in a vast watershed of ideas....much of which are quite flagrantly psychological if there's any personification in them atall. And if you value the flagrantly psychological in what I've been throwing out intermittently here, then I'd certainly like to hear what you think of things, either here or in my more-private portfolio group on Yahell, or in any of my other online areas that you may have sight of. Every artist wants attention...and to quote Oscar Wilde, of course, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. So do feel free to speak up when it comes to my creative output - detailed feedback is golden, especially because it means that detailed attention was given. And if I do happen to set a puzzle or a trail of allusionary breadcrumbs out in the path of things or woven into them.......I hope you'll have the intrepitude to try and follow where my thoughts are leading. If not, well...c'est la vie de le monde.

And as for why I'm so all over the place and not well settled/established in any one field or discipline...that's something that has plagued my sense of self-security for years and only very recently come clear to me, and it still wants its own manifesto (or at least an apologia) of an entry that isn't a well-tossed word salad of rampant Hamletting about. And that might take some concentration, because my general reaction to having very profound and vividly darkbright thoughts filling my head is to Hamlet as much as possible to avoid saying things out clearly. Cf. geometrical proofs - I do not particularly like showing my work, so anything that I actually take the time to spell out plainly must be very important indeed, for me to assume responsibility for all the labour of communication. To quote the Phantom of the Opera (original novel), "I never express myself like others...I don't do anything like others."

So what do I want from you who happen to read this, on my general access filter or whatever (lack of) confidentiality setting I choose for this? I want a reaction, to be perfectly blunt. I want to hear what you think of the content I've put out so far, if you've noticed it or happen to take an expedition back through my archives, and I want to know what you want to see in more finished form. Of course I'll ginsu any wankers who run supercilious or arrogant or bigoted - but it's my territory, my sovereign rules, as with any online enclave. 

And regarding those "piccies" previously suggested....well, that's another entry also, which will try to present at least a few different actual images of me, which I know is a well-nigh (if not totally) unprecedented thing.  And there is an anecdote that I will share in full along something like those lines, just because it made me snicker furiously when I read it first and always gives me distinct amusement.

And with that, I bid you good night and leave you to your apprehensive speculations....

In probable order of applicability (at the moment at least), here are some facets of me:

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are lively, dramatic, and flamboyant.
You have an outrageous personality...
And you secretly resent anyone who makes you tone it down.

Underneath it all, you are driven by your need for attention and acceptance.
You need to feel special at all times.
You are secretly jealous and occasionally insecure.

Flamboyant, yes. Dramatic, yes. Attention, yes.....approval -- depends on whose approval, don't you think...afterall, I do delight in shocking the normals....>:)

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are powerful, passionate, and dominant.
You have a vision of how things should be, and you do your best to make things happen.
People rely on you for your strength. You are a rock to many.

Underneath it all, you aren't so sure about your passions.
So many ideas spark your interest, it is hard for you to get behind a select few.
However, you see indecision as a sign of weakness. So you pursue your goals full force - no matter how foolish they turn out to be.

To quote Leonardo da Vinci: "Tell me if anything ever got finished...yeah, yeah, I know, I'm ingeniously brilliant, way overcommitted and highly mercurial. Tell me about it...."

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are wise, insightful, and brilliant.
Your wit is sharp and occasionally hurtful...
Revealing your scorn for people with less intelligence.

Underneath it all, you feel burdened by the stupidity of humanity.
You know what's right in the world, but it's overshadowed by everything that's wrong.
People see you as arrogant. While this is partially true, you are also very sensitive.

Mmmmmm......yeah. I do hate being ignored, don't I?...and take inordinate pleasure in my rapier wit? (is still channeling strongly from films watched within the past few days, so expect me to speak in tongues) And it is quite true -- I am most perturbed and angered by the stupidity of humanity....it really bugs me, ya know? *sigh* I left out the one about love in these results, as it was not half so true as any of the three remaining. I don't believe that I've undermined any romantic relationship through worrying about my not being "lovable" enough -- on the contrary, I've occasionally scared people away with my intensity and skills of passion, having turned their accustomed worlds upside-down. Rather intimidatingly good at that, actually....:-|

But that's an answer from yet another quiz, which I really ought to try again (a few times) for the hell of it...:-?

Not that I haven't ever been too cold for their conventions, admittedly -- I'm hardly a consistently cuddly person, psychologically.... But the rest of the time and underneath, I just wasn't what they were really looking for, or thought they wanted to find and commit to for the sake of their own personal belief-structure. Or they were a bit sick and I was a bit offended by the thought that they thought they could have me (and I'm including all manner of types in here, just in case you're wondering about the breadth of my experience...). Or they pissed me off with having too many internal issues and no capacity for maturity or honesty -- now there's a hot topic I won't touch here....

Enough of talk of love -- I have love now
and need to search no more....

I was having an urge to post some of my very-recent (and past-but-very-resonant) poetry here, but it occurs to me that I don't exactly want to do that without setting it up right, nor without making provision for the fact that I do intend to publish this stuff in proper books that one can hold in one's hand and read intimately, as books ought to be held and caressed and shared and taken to bed beneath one's pillow......so that does mean a little care is necessary, if they're to be valued rather than hastily-digested.

In my links, I have a website with some of my poetry and art and songs and costume design, as well as a portfolio/feedback group -- both called Aureantes' Realm (along w/ everything else of that name) -- there's a deviantART account too, but I haven't been there in a while to upload new things. I have recently been inspired (in a visionary way) to start typing up finished files from the longhand manuscripts running about my chambers, so there's a bit of a renaissance going on here, plus new surges of creation. The best place to have a truly exclusive view of many diverse creative things, plus updates, would be in the existing Yahell group, as there's no chance that anyone would be in the group without my approval (and hopefully the likelihood of posting responses...). Or, since that is a tad unwieldy and short on thread structure, I could set up an LJ community for the purpose of showcasing them and getting suggestions on how they ought to be published/submitted for outside publications (for example, there's a rather interesting one I wrote back in 2004 that I'd like to see if I can get in The New Yorker or something of that prominence, and I'd like to get some good opinions before sending things out).

I'm of the opinion that, seeing as "Poetry doesn't sell", I really ought to make art-books of my chapbooks, so that they have a definite high object-value as originals (or at least as much as 'zines do at fandom conventions...). Plus, that allows for them to be personalized and even include specific illustrations, colourings and ornamentation according to a client's preference, giving them both personal and collectible value. Perhaps I'll even scramble the engrav--- erm, strike that...:">>:)

Short form, drop me a comment if you have any interest atall in this subject, especially seeing as I (being lively and dramatic and flamboyant) am apparently addicted to getting attention. :-|

More attention-getting behaviour to come.
--Otherwise known as the one without any personality quizzes and enigmatically-leading comments thereon. The one that I have set up to look like a serious document-type thing with serious and scholarly observations. Well, most of the time...I do still lapse into the vernacular on when the spirit moves me.

My most worldly-serious and pointed stuff, often gleaned and more-formally elaborated from my news/discussion group hyperlucidity, goes to my Blogspot blog, Aureantes' Realm -- paranoid gold in a gilt-plastic world, the real complexity:

Some of what's in my mind, aimed for public consumption at least, though I've got a few more-specialized lairs about the Internet. Analysis, commentary, and the occasional sampling of other work from my other sites. If you like it, follow my links...though it may sometimes be a bit of a mental scavenger hunt...

I could use some traffic and feedback there, seeing as it's not a friendslist-type dealy but a real nest of un-networked blogs all going at the same time. As a matter of fact, I could certainly use more traffic here too.....I mean, I don't bite--wait a sec...:-? Yes, I do bite.../:)....but not unless invited or distinctly provoked.

And I'm busy enough handling offline life these days that I want to make sure the stuff I do online isn't going without any return or reaction or other raison d'etre. Testing the links, seeing if anyone's out there to make it worth my time to maintain. Otherwise a whole lot of things are liable to eventually get jettisoned from the craft, 'cause I'm tired of flying at low altitude waiting for people to catch up with me.



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