...actually, six days ago, to be precise, that being last Monday (1:29 am Chicago time, for the horoscopically inclined). And despite all the erratic festivities, running around out to breakfast and dinner, and some very thoughtful gifts, I still haven't yet gotten the one shared experience that I was most intent on doing during the day on my birthday.

And that is?

A walk in the woods. Just a simple, nature-communing, mystical, listening-to-the-trees, relaxing, non-stressing, away-from-the-things-of-man walk in the woods with my significant other.

Life's constant delays.... )
I think I ought to give up posting any sort of personality quizzes or anything of the sort unless it tells me something that A, is comprehensively accurate regarding me and B, I couldn't have picked out of my ass, as that category is well-covered already by now. That rules out most of the quizzes that exist online. Actually, I think the "If your life were a movie" one where I got Platoon was probably the most insightful one in the past year. I've taken enough online quizzes since I've gotten here, the general patterns are sufficiently clear, and if you want to see my answers just look in my memories under "quizzes" (mirabile dictu...).

The thing is, I am sick and bloody tired of anything purporting to tell me what I am and what defines me. I am tired of quizzes, I am tired of stupid arcane game-rules (yes, there are good reasons I tend to avoid anything but freeform), I am tired of overblown mythologies that have no relation to reality in general or me in particular. I an also tired of hearing about other people's lives, just on the general principle that it only reminds me of how (apparently) pathologically extreme my own discretion tends to be in not saying much about myself online and spilling my personal guts online with names named. I am hereby declaring myself to be the center of my own judgement and reality, just because I don't feel that I've said it loudly enough lately. I am in control, I am the sole ruler of my personal territory, and damn anyone else's self-centeredness 'cause dammit, I've got every right to use mine.

And the longer I go without exercising the powers I do have online, in whatever arena (managing my RP groups, topical forums, website self-expression in general), the more that anything anyone does in showing off whatever they care about pisses me off mightily. Just because I don't tend to gush all over the place doesn't mean I don't care, or don't have things every bit and more worth saying. Just stop the fucking world a sec and let me get a few things off my chest, because time moves much too quickly for my liking and I have a lot to do. Cut the crap and can the trivial pastimes......I haven't got the time for it. I haven't got the time for anything that isn't worthwhile to me. And that is my prerogative. I don't often make active use of my prerogatives unless pushed to it, which is hardly very self-respecting of me. And if I don't solidly respect myself, then I'm naturally going to be frustrated and bitter and a tad spiteful against anyone who's blithely doing their thing and expecting other people to give a damn.

I think I expect too little. I really should have people bowing at my feet and hanging on my every word, come to think of it....:-?
....afterall, who the hell goes around wearing masks in this day and age...?

Hmm.....okay, I'm trying to parse what the inimitable Mr. Brezsny has to say in my horoscope:

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Happy Valentine Daze, Libra! After careful meditation about what
advice might help you expand your experience of intimacy, I've
decided to offer you the following meditation. "Love sometimes gets
tired of speaking sweetly. It wants to rip to shreds all your
erroneous notions of truth that make you fight within yourself,
and with others." So writes Daniel Ladinsky in his translation of a
poem by Hafiz. Love, he continues, "sometimes wants to do us a great
favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out." That's a
pretty good description of where I think you are in your current
relationship with love, Libra. I hope you're brave enough to
cooperate with its gift.

I don't know. I'm not altogether sure that it's erroneous notions of truth that make me fight within myself, unless they're most definitely the negative kinds of erroneousness....now those, sure, they're a bitch and a half. If love can shake those out of me, and me out of that subtle rut, then fine, great, yay. But those erroneous notions aren't necessarily something I wanted in the first place, so love had better do that shaking carefully so far as my own truth is concerned....as that's taken quite enough beatings already.

So no more on that....I'm pissed off about Valentine's Day in that I can't celebrate it quite as completely as I'd like, my love being stuck in Indy 'cause her bosses have to travel and can't let her go for the weekend. So I wouldn't have been getting the holiday itself with her anyhow, but it would have been close, it would have been nice, it would have been...Chinese New Year....but no, even that was not to be. So, another half a month more before we finally get to be together on the physical plane, with all its mundanely sensual delights....*sigh*

So, anyhow, here's a fairly accurate description of my romantic style, in case you're morbidly curious....and it's relatively safe from kinkiness, seeing as I didn't even write it...:P

Amorous Untamed Romeo Exchanging Arousing Necking and Thrilling, Erotic Stimulation

Get Your Sexy Name

Than again, maybe not.......:-|
Well, not the holiday itself, just the trying-to-get-things-done. My cards are late....if I have time to get them done tonight, then I'm likely going to try sending them as emails to most, and post something here....otherwise, I've no chance to hit the regular mails till Boxing Day. Woohoo.

And now I'm overtired and will likely sleep until dark -- again -- after wrapping a crapload of presents on my mother's behalf. Mine are barely a quarter wrapped. I dearly hate the idea of opening presents on Christmas Eve just 'cause my sister's going to her boyfriend's family dinner on Christmas Day. I hate rushing, I hate stupid work schedules that have people trying to cram things in without really caring about it itself, just finding time. I'd rather be almost anywhere on Christmas Eve than with my family, 'cause that's my alone time and I damn well need it.

Anyhow. I got these random-generator results last night and am posting them before I go offline. Enjoy.

My Fortune Cookie told me:
Communicate! It can't make things any worse.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
His Excellency Aureantes the Woebegone of Chipping Sodbury
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
The Right Reverend Aureantes the Flavoursome of Happy Bottomshire
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

And one more for good measure....

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Reverend Earl Aureantes the Venal of Molton St Anywhere
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Oh boy....I think I'm definitely going to hear back on those results......


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