....for a rock band, that is - was considering it back sometime in college, around the time that this guy named Mike Mulloy was lending me tapes of Sisters of Mercy and Skinny Puppy and other goth stuff and I was considering what I could do with that area. I was also toying with "Aerosol Virus" around the same time, though that's for more straight-out modern paranoid dystopia, so far as the themes of things. What Fatal Katya is - and you'll get a cookie if you grasp the literary reference before I explain it - is unrestrained and flamboyant and passionately gutwrenching Romanticism, no holds barred and with a heavy dose of steampunk (didn't know of the genre/style then but it fits now) and overall deliberate and flagrant anachronism.

Although I've been writing songs or the starts of them since ever, along with copious amounts of poetry, it was around the summer of 2000 that I really came out with a significant number of 'finished' songs and started recording them as such, albeit a cappella - considering that I don't play any instrument well enough for performance purposes in my own opinion, I go by voice and by ear, and basically chart out my songs at first in solfege and accent/cadence rather than with absolute pitch or timing. This also has the advantage of being able to repitch to my own voice in case of cold or (as of late) with lower expansion of vocal range...doesn't mean that I don't want to have full absolute-pitch arrangements with instrumentals, though, as I'm very much into combining things in the most effective ways possible whether the intended sound is 'hard' or 'soft', modern/electronic or classical/acoustic, or a bit of everything at once. I like harps and ethnic pipes and violins and 'cellos, and I like electric guitars and synthesizer effects....and if anyone's picking up where I'm going with this and has an interest and skills to back it up, I'd like to hear about it.

In which I explain the band name and what it is literarily attached to... )

Anyhow.....I'm going to start posting more of my song lyrics from time to time, as I'm reworking and expanding a lot of them as well as having new ones surface. I'm also going to be getting a lot more material posted at my other outlets of Blogspot, my Facebook page, my portfolio group on Yahoo and other venues....will be updating these and culling out online unnecessaries over the next couple months. If you definitely do want to see what I'm coming up with creatively in all areas, comment here so that I can add you to an access filter for it - will also post all active career/project links for reference and edit my sidebar links lists and other access points.

And you know, if you want to talk literature and movies and psychology and such, or pick and probe at the things I say.....oh, do have at it, please..../:)


Hence the glowering predatory tiger of paradoxical Blakean notoriety....geez, why am I being so defensive all of a sudden?

No, seriously...I glanced over my LJ profile page and it is way too scattershot and blatantly defensive itself to be accurate for my purposes at the moment - not to mention which, it denies me the pleasure of letting people find out firsthand what a bad idea it is to give me shite on my home turf. I miss those tiffs, I really do.....>:)

Also, I think I need to be a bit more precise about my whole artistic shebang, as it is going to be coming out more pointedly in the months to come. I operate in multiple artistic areas including singing/songwriting, acting & high-level online roleplaying, poetry, fiction, theatrical design and any/all visual arts whose supplies I can easily lay hands on, and this ties in a vast watershed of ideas....much of which are quite flagrantly psychological if there's any personification in them atall. And if you value the flagrantly psychological in what I've been throwing out intermittently here, then I'd certainly like to hear what you think of things, either here or in my more-private portfolio group on Yahell, or in any of my other online areas that you may have sight of. Every artist wants attention...and to quote Oscar Wilde, of course, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. So do feel free to speak up when it comes to my creative output - detailed feedback is golden, especially because it means that detailed attention was given. And if I do happen to set a puzzle or a trail of allusionary breadcrumbs out in the path of things or woven into them.......I hope you'll have the intrepitude to try and follow where my thoughts are leading. If not, well...c'est la vie de le monde.

And as for why I'm so all over the place and not well settled/established in any one field or discipline...that's something that has plagued my sense of self-security for years and only very recently come clear to me, and it still wants its own manifesto (or at least an apologia) of an entry that isn't a well-tossed word salad of rampant Hamletting about. And that might take some concentration, because my general reaction to having very profound and vividly darkbright thoughts filling my head is to Hamlet as much as possible to avoid saying things out clearly. Cf. geometrical proofs - I do not particularly like showing my work, so anything that I actually take the time to spell out plainly must be very important indeed, for me to assume responsibility for all the labour of communication. To quote the Phantom of the Opera (original novel), "I never express myself like others...I don't do anything like others."

So what do I want from you who happen to read this, on my general access filter or whatever (lack of) confidentiality setting I choose for this? I want a reaction, to be perfectly blunt. I want to hear what you think of the content I've put out so far, if you've noticed it or happen to take an expedition back through my archives, and I want to know what you want to see in more finished form. Of course I'll ginsu any wankers who run supercilious or arrogant or bigoted - but it's my territory, my sovereign rules, as with any online enclave. 

And regarding those "piccies" previously suggested....well, that's another entry also, which will try to present at least a few different actual images of me, which I know is a well-nigh (if not totally) unprecedented thing.  And there is an anecdote that I will share in full along something like those lines, just because it made me snicker furiously when I read it first and always gives me distinct amusement.

And with that, I bid you good night and leave you to your apprehensive speculations....

Just a bunch of quizzes and stuff....

Under the cut, for those who want to see 'em.... )

Done that one before, but it's a decent one so far as non-psychic oracles go.....anyhow, I'm cutting myself off and tending to more pressing business now.
Yeah, yeah, I know that the deep vibrant blue against the deep darkblood red is eye-twangingly intense. You know what, though? --I've got my reasons. If you remember any of them, drop me a line. :-|

At the moment, I'm on a bender of re-tweaking everything that I have the ability to tweak, including my LJ details, my Yahell frontpages, and even my stodgy old MS Windows desktop style formats, getting as much damn distinctiveness as I can out of them without being able to design them totally from scratch.

Oh, and the office/studio redecorating down at the music school went quite well -- so well that I'm (supposedly) even going to get paid for it (!!!!). So, that's 19 hours of sheer practical creativity in the service of professional image. Aaaaaand...I am going to be attempting an art class for musicians to help them explore their stylistic gestalts and find their niche for how to present and market themselves uniquely. This is a totally new thing, and I am going to do it. Just like teaching formal figure drawing to kids in the primary grades 'cause they shouldn't have to wait until highschool and college to get the foundations of it.

It is quite useful to be able to just have an idea and act on it, without taking seriously the general rules that say one can't or one shouldn't be able to do that sort of thing. Grain of mustardseed and all that...>:)

Last Art League class till September today...I know, I haven't kept up on my erstwhile weekly bulletins regarding that. This quarter was frustrating because of late registrations and erratic attendance, as well as having a student art exhibit due up by the end of the month without being able to finish the course first. I don't refuse people on account of signing up late, but I do wish they'd be consistent once they started. I hope I haven't forgotten to say too much on account of it being Summer Quarter and only a 6-week term......I hate 6-week terms -- you never really feel like you get anywhere, even if you try to take the pressure off of getting somewhere so that it's not a constant urgency. I want the kids to have a good time and not get dried out with too much criticism, but at the same time I want to be able to push them hard enough to really see some forward movement. I know there has been some, maybe even a lot, but at the same time there's so much of 'in one ear and out the other' and not really actively grasping the image and making the most of it. Next term I must be more flagrantly physical and whip out the Play-Doh without ado.

And show off more. :-| I'm too damn modest, you know that? And in so much of a hurry to get the kids active that I often forget to show them 'where I am' as a precursor to helping them get further along in their development.

Enh, must stop before I start channelling......:-|

(No, not like that....not in front of the children....gah...no...nooo.....AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!)

There, now I feel better.... >:)

That's what I've been missing all this time wrapping presents and cleaning up house and decorating and dealing with people.....the music, the music itself with all the lights and colours and shadows. I've been wanting like crazy to put on The Nutcracker or Handel's Messiah and just wallow in the whole length of it, instead of just snippets here and there on the radio, or just CDs short enough to not dominate anyone's moods but mine. I want to blast my Christmas music through the house and not have to worry about everyone hangin' around watching TV 'cause they're all home too.

Well, we did (over dinner) watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas. ORIGINAL version, thank you very much, and my mother's one complaint is that "It's too short" -- which is true -- one can't quite get enough of either Boris Karloff's voice or that superlatively-heartwaming (and expanding /:)) Who-caroling..... As soon as the opening credits and music started, I started to get that warm fuzzy feeling that comes from old favourites -- something true and dependable that'll never let you down in the authentic emotion department, that's the idea.

Other music/movies that work on this count:

It's a Wonderful Life -- Make it to the end and you'll feel it all right as "Auld Lang Syne" surges forth, even if it's easily termed cheesy and overexposed as a holiday movie....Merry Christmas, ya old Building & Loan!!!

Scrooge -- Aka the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol. Gotta love that graveyard scene...and the spooky voices howling despair...and that lovely chamber arrangement of "Barbara Allen"....

The Dark Crystal -- Cosmic wholeness and regeneration.....need I say more?

Star Wars -- Original trilogy so far as depth--otherwise the thing that has the most resonance is just the music itself, esp. the Jedi theme and that familiar pattern of ending-cadence rising and then immediately tumbling breakneck into the main title theme as the credits roll.....:D

The Phantom of the Opera -- Preferably the original London cast recording, when the intensity was fresh and Michael Crawford was cutting-edge intense.

Les Miserables -- Yeah, the musical...especially the whole finale, which practically rips your heart out and them warms it with overworldly visions of freedom/redemption/perfect social justice.

"Love Song For a Vampire" -- The song over credits at the end of Bram Stoker's Dracula, by Annie Lennox...perfect and powerful, even moreso than the film itself.

"Into the West" -- More Annie Lennox, over the ending credits for The Return of the King. Actually, this is, together with the ending credits and their visuals, a summation of the entire trilogy and the production of it, and so the vibe that I get off of it is this monumental "labour of love" consummation that flows right off the screen. I personally consider the entire score of LOTR from start to finish to be one of the greatest in all of filmscore history.

"Unchained Melody" -- As used in Ghost -- the Righteous Brothers version and all the ways that theme is woven into the score. I know it's a "romantic" fave anyhow, but hey...

"The Thief of Your Heart" -- Sinead O'Connor, to wind up and resolve In the Name of the Father....I have a hard time putting up with all the emotional tension and outright injustice in the movie's course (and often have had to leave the room 'cause I get so pissed off), but this is the song that I'll stick it through to the end for, this and the wash of relief in the final verdicts, though belated and with so much time and youth lost.

Pachelbel Kanon in D -- All-string arrangement, with a deep dark almost-groaning pulse in the cello line and the yearning keenness of the violins as they weave their filigree atop and throughout...this has always struck me as a "processional of all the ages" type of piece, despite its topical popularity as a wedding march. And speaking of wedding marches.....

"The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba" -- More Handel, and just stuff that feels goooood....this one's that bustling flurrying of strings and light horns that you might have detected in Four Weddings and Funeral, as one of the wedding processionals there.

And even though it's not a wedding march but a coronation anthem, I must include "Zadok the Priest", which was featured in The Madness of King George....it builds from a sedate traveling-line of pulsing strings into a truly imposing wave of song, both stately and almost primal in effect.

The ending chorus of the sorceress' restored-to-human lovers in Alcina, also, has a fullness of dramatic tension/resolution within it that belies the outright lightheartedness of the dances that follow it to end the opera....heh, give me the denouement and retransformations, but the 'back to normalcy' post-climax is something I can do without....let 'em figure it out by themselves :P

Beethoven's Ninth Symphony -- The faithful-to-the-score rendition by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, which I've heard on WFMT a lot lately (even waking up to it), gets to the heart of the matter the best, with its pacing and intensity uncompromised....I am convinced by now that Beethoven's culminating vision was that of a music of the spheres, unbound by human cultural forms and expanding to include the entire universe as its field of sound and imagination.

Mahler's Symphony No. 2 ("Resurrection") -- Something that must be heard and felt with one's whole being, an odyssey of cataclysm and transcendence...music as mystical ordeal.

Albinoni's Adagio -- The version I have on LP is the definitive one imo, with a strong organ bass line, lush strings and a keening violin solo (no, the organ cannot achieve the degree of acoustic penetration...). When the main theme gushes out at the climax of the piece and the organ floods in beneath, it's always given me the visual impression of a drowning city, a huge and horrifyingly-beautiful tragedy.

Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings -- Otherwise known as that music that they used in Platoon...ascending and pausing and waning and rising and building until that climactic shimmering laser-beam of sound that makes one feel as if, to quote Emily Dickinson, "the top of my head were coming off"...

"Dance of the Blessed Spirits" from Gluck's Orfeo ed Euridice -- Also used, very pointedly, in Jean Cocteau's film on the same theme...there, its yearning qualities are all the more highlighted in isolation, and as a reference to the whole myth from within a modern-dress version.

"The Last Spring" -- Edvard Grieg, one of his two Elegiac Melodies....I have the music for the song version on hand too, and it is a good text, but the all-strings version is, well...rather good at pulling at my heartstrings, so to speak. And vis-a-vis Grieg, there's also all the music for Peer Gynt....even a better listen if you've actually read the story of the wayward wanderer, which I did when I was about 8 or 9 in a junior-classic series called My Book House....damn, I'd love to get my hands on that whole series again....

Actually, in the realm of classical music and opera, there is so much that I thrive on that it's really a bit silly to try narrowng it down atall, as I'll only think of more things as soon as I hit post. So don't take this as a complete list of my likings by any means, just in case there was any temptation to do so. It's really barely scratching the surface.


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