You know my romantic weaknesses way too well. All that spooky blood-sacrifice and chanting is such a turn-on (especially when performed in the bedroom)...how could I resist the witchy bitch?

You're right, though, eHarmony is just not the place for me. I think next time I'll do what the white-witch told me and lay a magical snare for a swan-maiden -- or maybe a kitsune if I'm feeling particularly masochistic.