What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but your head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll actually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Hmmmm.......yep, that sounds about right for the moment. The near future that is currently developing for me is very interesting indeed...mmm, and probably most of its attendant details and plot elements ought to be considered classified information, as what is everyday to me is not exactly everyday to the rest of the everyday world.

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed
Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas.
You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.
You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force.

An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.
You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.
People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.
You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone.

Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

And, just to get the other side of the coin....(I'm way too complex for these things)...

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

So I'm a Visionary Hunter?--or a Predatory Visionary? Hmmmmm......methinks I'd better sleep on it.
Where was your soul born?[pics + detailed answeres]

Your soul was born in the Sky.You have a free soul and you hate to be tied down. You love a good challenge and you love to compete with your friends. You're very kind and open-minded. You accept anyone as longs as the person doesn't try to hold you down. You have a habit of bending and sometimes breaking rules, but you're very careful with stepping over lines. You might break some rules but you also have respect for them. You're element is Air. You're unpredictable and people can never figure out what you will do next. You're admirable and many people look up to you. You do you best to capture the day and make the most out of it. You're honest, but sometimes your honesty can hurt people. Remember that you're not boring just because you're serious sometimes. Sometimes you need to be serious to get respect from others. You can't joke everything away.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Actually, I think I'll pass on the green hair and girly bikini, not to mention the feminine assets.  The barbarianish metalwork's okay though.  Why the hell don't these quizzes ever offer the alternative of a beautiful big-eyed and sexy male anime image to post in your journal......? /:)

The Jaguar Spirit
You scored 74% Creativity, 44% Compassion, 61% Strength, and 72% Intelligence!
You are a Jaguar Spirit. You move like a predator, and enjoy the night. You are agile and graceful, and have amazing night vision. You tend to be solitary, but sometimes get along with one or two others. Jaguars are very wild spirits with strong wills.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Creativity
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Compassion
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Strength
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Intelligence
The Spirit Animal Test
Okay, I know I make a habit of hardly ever posting anything of real personal information here, at least not anything that connects to the social world around me. The reason why?--It's generally all fucked up. And lately things are a bit more fuck-upped than usual.

My mother's husband may be dying a lot sooner than we expected, seeing as his old cancer (treated two years ago) has spread in his bones, to multiple areas. He's in hospital with congestive heart failure and pneumonia. He's also fifteen years older than she is, which actually comes out to a good deal older in body and habits. My mother has seriously suggested to me that, if/when he gets out of hospital and I still don't have a steady dayjob, she'll have me live with them to help out. Not just come over on a weekend or even for a few days in a row, but live there, 24/7, without access to my own home, computer, clothes, music, anything...but most of all, without having any contact with my own friends, on whom I rely a great deal to help me deal with the stresses of my family situation. I, for some selfish reason, have a problem with the idea of being shanghai'd into an indefinitely-long act of mercy...especially considering that I'm not actually related to the man atall, and have a hard enough time dealing with him in person when he's up and about. This whole thing has me in a serious guilt-trip that I wish were not such a quandary, I wish it were easier to see a way I could be helpful and virtuous and kind and be strong for my mother without sacrificing all my time and putting off (even further!) everything I'm trying to accomplish in life. I'm 29 years old, for fuck's sake, and I've got a life that's been put on the back burner long enough on account of everyone else's problems in my family -- and it's damn hard to be self-sacrificing when you realize that you've been deliberately or subconsciously sacrificing yourself for others' needs and priorities ever since you developed that niggling thing called empathy, concern, a social conscience. That you've had people walking all over you even when they protested vehemently that they were doing nothing of the sort, that it was just your overreacting and imagination, your being a selfish little stuck-up brat who didn't care for anyone but yourself....even when they said they wouldn't think of walking all over you because of your ungodly bad wicked evil Ginsu-tongued temper, which somehow was more serious and destructive a weapon than any brute physical force ever used against you, whatever the reason. Blaming you for everything, even and especially your own injuries. Always setting a condition on love, always trying to force your face to the ground, and then wondering why you found it so hard to stand up tall and make your own way.

Yes, I'm in a rare visible mood of hating my family, and everyone who assumes they're my family, and everyone who's ever gotten into my head when I was too young to know any better then to trust them somewhere, to listen to them more seriously than to my own heart, even when they were cutting my heart out near-systematically to feed their own hungry egos. If I were less scrupulous than I am, I'd be in a killing mood, or at least a very physically-abusive one. Just...fucking fed up with this fucked-up lying, thieving, falsely-healed dysfunctionality that's been stealing my soul all my fucking life. If there were a single symbolic ass to be kicked here, I'd kick it, thrash it, flay it, slice and slash it and tear it apart with my bare hands and teeth. I want revenge. I want bloody and foam-flecked heaving screaming-in-vain-for-mercy death in recompense for a thousand forced and persuaded deaths, a thousand compromises, a thousand delays and disillusionments. You want to know what's gone into this sudden rage of mood?--believe me, you don't ask that casually. Not from me. I'm a good person -- sometimes -- and othertimes I could easily believe that I'm the lowest and basest wretch in the world. If you can't understand that, deal with that, face that when you talk to me, then there's no point in asking "What's wrong?" I'm not in a good mood -- I hate people trying to use me. Even if it's a good cause, I hate being used, I hate being pushed, and most of all I hate this assumption that my life and strength are simply there for the exploitation until I'm pulling down a steady paycheck to feed into the household. I've fed it. I used to feed it half my earnings automatically -- but no, that never goes into any accumulated credit. Any status of mine here is ephemeral as the wind. And always "Jam every other day" whenever the matter comes up of how others have taken much more, done much less work, done far more damage with far less thought than I could ever muster. Families suck...a lot of things.

But eventually, and much sooner now in vision than before, I'll have a reason to leave the household's strangling grip and cease feeding, cease giving, cease trying to win anything more from that vast conditional heart of familial nature. I'm not an asshole -- I'm not an uncaring selfish son-of-a-bitch -- but I do have my own fucking life, and a right to my own desires within it. My headache's come back again (whether it's the low air pressure outside or the self-stress of talking this out on the screen & in my head), and I'm pissed. I need to gether myself and clear out the shit -- and yet the shit has been filling my life for so long that I have very little of idea of what a functioning and healthy psyche is actually like. I think a bonfire would be a good start, though, to burn out the old accumulated junk and maybe get a glimpse of the walls and floor -- and sky -- again.
(--and I got dibs on that for a song title, capisce?)

Okay, I'm planning to go up to Ren Faire for the (counts on fingers) I think sixth time August 21st, with a bunch of pals from the local chapter of ShadowLore (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShadowLore_Indiana-Illinois).

Must alter my doublet...I was watching Shakespeare in Love tonight, and my attire as it stands needs to be updated to the casual Elizabethan rather than remaining half in the rather rococo Italian Renaissance. Which means, turn under the bottom skirts and tag it, rearrange the buttons closer and smaller, and probably curtail the loft on the shoulder-rims, especially if I plan to bring a cloak atall, which I ought to in order to match my crappy old crushable black slouch hat, which still looks a helluva lot better than my black suede beret, even if it does have the ultra-long pheasant's feather I yoinked from that horrid eggplant-purple suede Robin Hood hat I bought last time at Faire...sorry, it was a cheapo stall knockoff and looked worse than a short-order cook's paper hat, imho. And I don't care if it (the black crushable-bendable) looks not quite natty enough for Court, 'cause I ain't in Court! Nor am I a vendor...I am of no Guild, and therefore I may in my own personal wardrobe subtly thumb my nose at the costume Nazis, altho' I may pander to them for others' sake.

My knee-high black suede moccasin-boots, for example...tactfully bereft of their fringes, they might at worst mark me as some itinerant pirate from the New World...

Point of historical accuracy, though--by the time I go to Faire, I shall have my ear pierced in customary gentleman's fashion, so that at least is quite i' the order of the day. And my hair longer.

Hah...yeah, I'm on a roll (role? /:)...) all right...I was just thinking tonight, watching the movie, seeing them rehearse their lines and business and all, how much the faculties of memory and imagination have degraded over time, as data has become more permanent and endlessly retrievable with so little effort. Admittedly, we are talking of "professional" players, who might be supposed to have those gifts in larger measure to play their parts--but no, in general, people have let their imaginations be more dictated-to than stimulated-within by those things they imbibe via their senses, not to mention their capacities for mental recall being taken up much more with matters of worldly concern, the exacting financial and legal details and passwords and policies and all sorts of internal paperwork. I was shocked (shocked!) in sophomore-year Honors English, to realize how few of my classmates knew how to read dramatically--and from Cyrano de Bergerac, no less...!

I asked Amber if she'd gotten the latest Harry Potter book, supposing that a girl hooked on Rupert Grint (who plays Ron Weasley in the movies) just might be interested in seeing what lies ahead to be filmed of him...and she said she doesn't like to read. "That's it, we're through!" I said, joking only by a fraction--I just can't continue to associate with people who "don't read"...who blather (par l'example) about arcane gaming/film terminology (Lycans, anyone? *snicker*) or horror/fantasy characters as if they were "real" as given, without having read anything of either original novels nor lore...you know what I'm talking about, people...*lowering glare*

*Sigh* Yeah, I'm an intellectual...I mean, my idea of a fully convivial evening with friends necessarily involves some sort of mental/artistic activity, whether it's watching and critiquing movies, reading plays or poems or stories aloud, deepdark cultural/philosophical discussion, or delving through the piles of classical/opera/Broadway music in the livingroom. Or psychical explorations, but those I shall not detail at the moment here--suffice it to say, they are not fit endeavours for the shallow nor wit-less...

Ah, go on, say it...'old souls' never do quite belong in their own times, do they?--or any time? All we can do is make use of where we happen to land, and try to make it work out for the best. With a shiteload of self-research, admittedly...but what do we think Jesus was really doing all those years before he started "working"?

Ah, there's a thought...


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags