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...oh, and preferably make it something that requires more than a simple yes or no or factual-data type answer, though there's no way I can really police that anyhow. It's rather frustrating when you have tons of people out there sharing their daily cornflakes-and-milk and you aren't precisely that kind of person to go into that much mundane detail 'cause it doesn't strike you as being important (and sharing the details and intensities of your love life seems a bit irrelevant to anyone else but the parties involved). And when you don't know what everyone else is interested in hearing about in your life, and so you basically gank quizzes and shite, which is like pulling things out of a hat to react to on-camera.
Enh. It's certainly not as if I have nothing going on in my life, but it takes a certain amount of energy to filter and sort and recount it for a general audience. So, to avoid the horrorvacui of a blank topic waiting to be filled with anything atall, I'm dropping the ball in your courts, to be redropped in mine. Feel free to riff off anything I've said on here before, too.
And then I'll pose you some random queries.....fair enough, 'stead of just passing things around ad infinitum.
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Enh. It's certainly not as if I have nothing going on in my life, but it takes a certain amount of energy to filter and sort and recount it for a general audience. So, to avoid the horrorvacui of a blank topic waiting to be filled with anything atall, I'm dropping the ball in your courts, to be redropped in mine. Feel free to riff off anything I've said on here before, too.
And then I'll pose you some random queries.....fair enough, 'stead of just passing things around ad infinitum.
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And who wins, you or ninjas?
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Or something like that. Did you mean existentially or in a streetfight?
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Streetfight, of course. Yeah, my money was on you anyway!
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Sorry for the lateness...I was in NH all weekend. ^_^
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So.....yeah, I'm here to restore balance to the Force. :P
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I liked what you wrote in response to my post in
I thought that what you wrote was quite brilliant, actually, and am trying to suppress my natural "I'm in love!" reaction. ;)
I'm honestly glad that you've somehow managed to make things work for you... I really have seen too many autistics misdiagnosed and mistreated by the system, in addition to myself.
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Incidentally, I'm a bit on the "falling in love" thing too when there's meeting of minds, especially over the things that it's so hard to find consensus on anyhow (seeing as I haven't an advanced college degree/doctorate/anything to 'make' people listen to all these theories of mine), and that meshing and interplay is something I can't get enough of, even though it does heighten the tension when it comes to answering my mail. I have found a mate at long last (that'd be Litharriel), but incidentally we are both open/poly-minded as well, in the 'select circle of intimates' sort of way, body and mind both. So no worries atall on that front.
Hmm....I suppose my way of making things work really hasn't been me 'managing' it so much as slipping under the diagnostical radar until I was well out of highschool/school-"systems" and well-read enough to figure things out for myself...which has been a bit trying emotionally (I understate constantly, btw), because looking back I realize that I really could have used the explanations of being transmale and being aspie (both of them) to stop people blaming me for "willfully" being asocial, antisocial, overaggressive & territorial, stubborn, ungracious, self-absorbed, over-reactive, etc. Though again, they might have just tried all the harder to condition me out of it, given the decade. So I had to deal with people assuming that I was neurologically normal-superior (academically gifted) but had a really crappy attitude around other people that needed to be fixed/guilted/etc. out of me. Serves me right for not being "disabled", I suppose....lol
I'm sure that a lot of people at aspie_trans could accuse me of not having Asperger's atall from a glance, because I'm so verbal (verbose) and don't seem to be inhibited or have trouble 'expressing my feelings' or relating to other people in a socially-normal way. I used to be a textbook introvert, and now I'm a functional extrovert, when I feel like it at least, which I think lends some credibility to the "post-traumatic wariness" idea. I'm sure that some part of me is looking for group validation ("Ooh, my own kind at last!") by sharing alot, while on the other hand I know that lack or denial of that is going to make little impression on me. Having one or two people get what I'm talking about is enough to actively hope for with that, as with many groups...quality, not quantity.
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(And if the ones you've dealt with are, then I'm sure as hell staying away from 'em too...)
So are they high-maintenance, shallow, hyper-mundane, or what? I suppose that one could say most people (of either/all genders) have skewed habits/patterns that have been imprinted on them without resistance because they're unremarkable and don't take the trouble to clarify themselves to themselves, but that part seems more in the line of "normal" (i.e., unenlightened) vs. "eccentric"(self-aware) than any sex/gender dynamic.
And it shows a great deal of ill-concealed anxiety, too, even if you like to fool around with gender signifiers yourself. There's a reaction in there, and it seems odd in a person of your intellect and fineness of logic that it should be such a memetic monolith.
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http://www.kubrick2001.com/
So are they high-maintenance, shallow, hyper-mundane, or what?
That's a big part of it. I'm sort of like a diamond that became lost in a field of coal, or a monk that got lost in the woods, searching for the forest, running around in circles.
This is something I wrote a short while ago:
I was about to step into the shower and then changed my mind, feeling that it might be a good idea to remove the nail polish from my toenails first so that I don't smell like nail polish remover, which reminded me that I may need to remind myself to make a point of reminding
Welcome to a snapshot of the inside of my brain... is it really any wonder that I'm totally insane?
So, you take an essentially highly-gifted female brain, put it into a male body, smack it around a few times, add in a bit of testosterone, shake well, and you have me.
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I act sort of like him sometimes, and based on my experience with other (mis- or un-diagnosed) autistics I've known, to me, it makes perfect sense.
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Given the high internal sensitivity and necessary routine-building of anyone studying concert piano, plus the inherent uncertainty in any performance-art (or art in general), it seems more likely that he broke under that stress compounded by interpersonal emotional pressures, making him regress into a deeper autism, rather than just having some kind of underlying schizophrenia waiting to be triggered at the drop of a (real or imagined) hat. It's always tricky to mess around with the inner workings of creative people, seeing as one can't be sure where the golden eggs are coming from.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syd_Barrett
Excerpt:
However, as the band began to attract a large fanbase, the pressures placed on Barrett contributed to his experiencing increasing psychiatric illness.
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